I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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