So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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