do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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