I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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