he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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