The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
