YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
