She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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