Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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