I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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