4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
