Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
two words: eviction party
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
