My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Everclear isn't food dammit
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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