i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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