JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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