He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
