you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
