My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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