remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
