Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
