it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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