My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
