i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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