New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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