i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So squirting runs in the family.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
