nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My friends, they love my intelligence
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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