Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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