see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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