Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
