what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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