Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
