Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
