Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
