well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
