i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
