She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
