no, he came in my armpit
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
