We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
