You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
