where does the pee come out of this thing
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
