You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
