WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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