His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
