we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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