your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i barfeds in our rink
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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