is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
