pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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