your room smells of hookers.
And success
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
