I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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