i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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