I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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