i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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